Pay Attention to Your Emotions…They Are Real!

So often when faced with a challenge, especially that of moving from your long-time home, you are told to look at the bright side, the glass is half full, and where you are moving to will enhance your lifestyle. We’ve all been told to move forward and let the past go. We feel weak when we indulge in our sadness and feelings of loss. We can all agree that the only person who truly understands what we are feeling is you, the person going through the change!

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As we age our emotional strength may alter, not weaken, but change into deep seated feelings that we push aside so that we don’t burden our families with our problems and issues. Our children have their own challenges and adding to their burden seems wrong. So, we hold our feelings inside and guess what…they become more pronounced. When we push our feelings inside they can take hold of us and manifest as fear and procrastination. We put off that which takes us out of our comfort zone. Procrastination is our number one nemeses when a change is necessary to our mental and physical health.

When I meet with families regarding mom or dad moving, emotions are central to the conversation and to the success or failure of a move that is truly needed. Children re-live childhood memories with siblings and parents. Mom and dad feel like the roles have been reversed and their loving daughter is now treating her like a child…or so it seems to the older adult. All intentions are loving and have the best interests in mind, but the conversation may feel differently. No one is prepared for this move and all in the family are doing their best with what they must work with.

Another point of trepidation relates to your collection of personal property or your ‘treasures’ collected over a lifetime of living. The word I hear most often is overwhelming when thinking about downsizing and preparing for the move. Each picture, vase, piece of furniture has a story. Your collection of books, tapes, and photos brings back memories from a lifetime of joy and sadness. Take some time to feel the emotions and share them with your loved ones. You can’t take it all with you, but you will carry the memories with you wherever you go. Also know there are companies that will guide you through the downsizing process and can take your from overwhelmed to empowered. Bringing in professionals is the best medicine to counter fear and procrastination.

The point of this article is to rejoice in your feelings whether you are the child helping a parent or you are the older adult moving from the home you have loved for the last 30-50 years of your life. You should take time to truly feel and discuss your emotions with those you love and trust. We are raised to be tough and strong when we meet a challenge in our lives. But this move, from your long-time home requires conversations, research and understanding of who you truly are today. We all change over time and you are not the same person that moved into that home many years ago. Talk about what you are feeling; your fears, your concerns and most of all your sadness or trepidation about the move you are about to make. Do your research of housing options before making any decisions. The best antidote for fear and anxiety is getting all the information necessary to make a sound decision.

Honor your feelings and emotions. Those who love you will do all they can to guide you and help you in your time of need but only you can know what you feel. Treat yourself with love and care and know that by facing your fears and anxiety is critical to moving forward in a healthy way. Write down your concerns and discuss them with your trusted advisors. Don’t bury them as they will come back to bite you at a time when you will need to make decisions that will be critical to your well-being. Once you have truly taken the time to feel, you can go to the next step of meeting your goals and desires for a happy and healthy future!

So often when faced with a challenge, especially that of moving from your long-time home, you are told to look at the bright side, the glass is half full, and where you are moving to will enhance your lifestyle. We’ve all been told to move forward and let the past go. We feel weak when we indulge in our sadness and feelings of loss. We can all agree that the only person who truly understands what we are feeling is you, the person going through the change!

As we age our emotional strength may alter, not weaken, but change into deep seated feelings that we push aside so that we don’t burden our families with our problems and issues. Our children have their own challenges and adding to their burden seems wrong. So, we hold our feelings inside and guess what…they become more pronounced. When we push our feelings inside they can take hold of us and manifest as fear and procrastination. We put off that which takes us out of our comfort zone. Procrastination is our number one nemeses when a change is necessary to our mental and physical health.

When I meet with families regarding mom or dad moving, emotions are central to the conversation and to the success or failure of a move that is truly needed. Children re-live childhood memories with siblings and parents. Mom and dad feel like the roles have been reversed and their loving daughter is now treating her like a child…or so it seems to the older adult. All intentions are loving and have the best interests in mind, but the conversation may feel differently. No one is prepared for this move and all in the family are doing their best with what they must work with.

Another point of trepidation relates to your collection of personal property or your ‘treasures’ collected over a lifetime of living. The word I hear most often is overwhelming when thinking about downsizing and preparing for the move. Each picture, vase, piece of furniture has a story. Your collection of books, tapes, and photos brings back memories from a lifetime of joy and sadness. Take some time to feel the emotions and share them with your loved ones. You can’t take it all with you, but you will carry the memories with you wherever you go. Also know there are companies that will guide you through the downsizing process and can take your from overwhelmed to empowered. Bringing in professionals is the best medicine to counter fear and procrastination.

The point of this article is to rejoice in your feelings whether you are the child helping a parent or you are the older adult moving from the home you have loved for the last 30-50 years of your life. You should take time to truly feel and discuss your emotions with those you love and trust. We are raised to be tough and strong when we meet a challenge in our lives. But this move, from your long-time home requires conversations, research and understanding of who you truly are today. We all change over time and you are not the same person that moved into that home many years ago. Talk about what you are feeling; your fears, your concerns and most of all your sadness or trepidation about the move you are about to make. Do your research of housing options before making any decisions. The best antidote for fear and anxiety is getting all the information necessary to make a sound decision.

Honor your feelings and emotions. Those who love you will do all they can to guide you and help you in your time of need but only you can know what you feel. Treat yourself with love and care and know that by facing your fears and anxiety is critical to moving forward in a healthy way. Write down your concerns and discuss them with your trusted advisors. Don’t bury them as they will come back to bite you at a time when you will need to make decisions that will be critical to your well-being. Once you have truly taken the time to feel, you can go to the next step of meeting your goals and desires for a happy and healthy future!